CSL Register

Go Back   CSL Register > General > Jokes & Idjuts Area

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-05-2015, 06:02 AM   #1
Bounce
CSL Register Uber-poster!
 
Bounce's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Cornwall
Posts: 7,057
Casino cash: $35793
Bounce is on a distinguished road
Default Uk Tax laws explained in beer

THE UK TAX SYSTEM EXPLAINED IN BEER

Suppose that once a week, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten
comes to £100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something
like this: -

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay £1.
The sixth would pay £3.
The seventh would pay £7.
The eighth would pay £12.
The ninth would pay £18.
And the tenth man (the richest) would pay £59.

So, that’s what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every week and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement until, one day, the owner caused them a little problem. “Since
you are all such good customers”, he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost
of your weekly beer by £20. Drinks for the ten men would now cost just
£80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the
first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free but what
about the other six men? The paying customers? How could they divide the
£20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share? They realized that
£20 divided by six is £3.33 but if they subtracted that from everybody’s
share then not only would the first four men still be drinking for free
but the fifth and sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his
beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fairer to reduce each man’s
bill by a higher percentage. They decided to follow the principle of the
tax system they had been using and he proceeded to work out the amounts he
suggested that each should now pay.

And so, the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (a 100%
saving).
The sixth man now paid £2 instead of £3 (a 33% saving).
The seventh man now paid £5 instead of £7 (a 28% saving).
The eighth man now paid £9 instead of £12 (a 25% saving).
The ninth man now paid £14 instead of £18 (a 22% saving).
And the tenth man now paid £49 instead of £59 (a 16% saving).

Each of the last six was better off than before with the first four
continuing to drink for free.

But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings. “I only
got £1 out of the £20 saving,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the
tenth man, “but he got £10″

“Yes, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved £1 too. It’s
unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me”

“That’s true” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get £10 back when I
only got £2? The wealthy get all the breaks”

“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “we didn’t get
anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor”. The nine men
surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next week the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat
down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the
bill, they discovered something important –they didn’t have enough money
between all of them to pay for even half of the bill.
Bounce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2015, 08:13 AM   #2
Bealo
Driving it like I nicked it
 
Bealo's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Everywhere.
Posts: 2,540
Casino cash: $12738
Bealo is on a distinguished road
Default

Whats is this tax thing your talking about Bounce?
__________________
Bealo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2015, 08:29 AM   #3
rstoughy
S6, Sport On, Traction Off
 
rstoughy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Aberdeenshire
Posts: 1,946
Casino cash: $25316
rstoughy is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bealo View Post
Whats is this tax thing your talking about Bounce?
__________________


Paul.
Ooooft!!! 15yrs in the CSL and still loving it

"shine on you crazy diamond"
rstoughy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2015, 09:33 AM   #4
CraigMillwardCroft
CSL Register Uber-poster!
 
CraigMillwardCroft's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Marlow
Posts: 3,973
Casino cash: $18153
CraigMillwardCroft is on a distinguished road
Default

CraigMillwardCroft is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2015, 08:33 PM   #5
cslsuperfan
Driving it like I nicked it
 
cslsuperfan's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: wales
Posts: 2,222
Casino cash: $19520
cslsuperfan
Default HMRC!!!

Brett

Food for thought.......

According to the Treasury the top 1% of earners are indeed paying balls deep.

12 Billion in Welfare cuts on the way......Hoorah.
cslsuperfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2015, 08:37 PM   #6
Bounce
CSL Register Uber-poster!
 
Bounce's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Cornwall
Posts: 7,057
Casino cash: $35793
Bounce is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bealo View Post
Whats is this tax thing your talking about Bounce?
You should buy beer for all of us at Silly mate,just so you don't feel a free loader while back in the country
Bounce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2015, 09:27 PM   #7
MarcM
S2 - Picking it up
 
MarcM's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 78
Casino cash: $2434
MarcM is on a distinguished road
Default

Top class! Can you pass that on to the socialist psycho Nicola Sturgeon please
MarcM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2015, 09:33 PM   #8
Trawler
Driving it like I nicked it
 
Trawler's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,213
Casino cash: $25916
Trawler
Default

Love the story, but don't talk to me about the tax man. I've been fined twice this year over something I had no control of. Try contacting them. It is impossible.
Trawler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-05-2015, 12:59 AM   #9
Bealo
Driving it like I nicked it
 
Bealo's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Everywhere.
Posts: 2,540
Casino cash: $12738
Bealo is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bounce View Post
You should buy beer for all of us at Silly mate,just so you don't feel a free loader while back in the country
You seem to forget the milky bars are on Shimmy for messing us around
__________________
Bealo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-05-2015, 07:24 AM   #10
Bounce
CSL Register Uber-poster!
 
Bounce's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Cornwall
Posts: 7,057
Casino cash: $35793
Bounce is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bealo View Post
You seem to forget the milky bars are on Shimmy for messing us around
No mate,didn't forget
Bounce is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 01:06 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c)www.wickedwifi.co.uk