CSL Register

Go Back   CSL Register > General > Jokes & Idjuts Area

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-03-2010, 11:33 AM   #1
Roland
S5, Sport Off, DSC M-track
 
Roland's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: ///Munich
Posts: 952
Casino cash: $26748
Roland
Default doctor

One day Pete was complaining to his friend “my elbow hurts. I better see a doctor”.

His friend said “Don't do that. There's a computer in the drug store that can diagnose anything. It's quicker and cheaper than visiting a doctor. Simply put a urine sample in the machine and it will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. It only costs $10.”

Pete figured he had nothing to lose so he filled a jar with a urine sample. He went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited $10.

The computer started to make a weird nose and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a small slip of paper printed. It said: ‘You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labour, it will be better in two weeks’.

Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Pete began to wonder if it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, poured the sample into the machine and deposited $10.

The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis: ‘Your water is hard, get a softener. Your dog has worms, get him shots. Your daughter's using cocaine, get her into a rehab clinic. Your wife's pregnant, it's not yours, get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.’
__________________
Roland is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-03-2010, 09:35 AM   #2
Bounce
CSL Register Uber-poster!
 
Bounce's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Cornwall
Posts: 7,057
Casino cash: $35793
Bounce is on a distinguished road
Default

Bounce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-03-2010, 10:18 AM   #3
Mark CSL
CSL Register Uber-poster!
 
Mark CSL's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Scotland
Posts: 8,777
Casino cash: $42229
Mark CSL is an unknown quantity at this point
Send a message via MSN to Mark CSL
Default

:t humbs: Brill
__________________

www.procarkits.co.uk
Mark CSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 02:11 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c)www.wickedwifi.co.uk